Reason #112 I Can't Make Eye Contact with My Kids' Teachers

Here's a little story my son wrote (all misspellings and punctuation his):

"The Time by Dad Blow Up"

One morning I went down stairs for breakfast. My Dad had 18 waffles and 22 pancake's. Then he had to go to the bathroom so bad he exploded. Then I asked my Mom why did Dad Explode? Then Mom tolled me he ate to much food.