I was traveling for business for the first four days of this week, so I asked the kids if they wanted me to come have lunch with them today. I expected Bloomer to want me to, but was not sure about Boxer. Maybe at 7, he's too "cool" to have his mom eat lunch with him. But he was game, so I planned for a delicious lunch of turkey corn dog bites.
I don't know why I expect my kids to have friends they want to eat lunch with, but I'm always surprised to walk into the cafeteria and see them sitting at the lunch table, possibly next to other kids, but basically acting like an island.. Genetics dictate that they may not care for the company of other people all that much. Or it could be that friendships are temperamental things and kids don't know the ins and outs. I don't know.
Because I get hyper-vigilant about whether my kids are doing better or worse than I was at their age (in general I think they are better), I was paying attention to the other kids at the lunch tables. In some cases, there's a cluster of 2-3 boys and a cluster of 2-3 girls in each class that are engaged in conversation and seem to have a connection with each other. The other 12-15 kids just seem to... sit. And eat. They may interact with neighbors about napkin territories or dude-look-at-this-curly-fry-nose-ring, but for the most part, they are also islands.
Is this new? As a kid, I was under the impression that EVERYONE ELSE had good friends and awesome experiences 24x7 and that I was the freak that didn't know how to make friends or let myself enjoy something. And while maybe that was the case in my day (in retrospect, I doubt it), it doesn't appear to be the case nowadays. Perhaps it's not the case because all these darn kids with their videogames (!) *shaking fist at sky* don't know how to talk to real people, or maybe it's always been this way.
I kind of want to go to each of these kids and tell them that those 3-4 kids having a good time at lunch may look like the popular "cool" kids, but if all the nerds, geeks, and other outcasts of the world banded together, the "popular" kids would be outside the norm. Nerd bonding FTW!
I suspect, however, some other parents and the school administration might complain if I started a geek uprising during lunch, so I'll just continue to tell my kids that sometimes being a kid stinks but you come through it and it gets better. Besides, all that introspection gives you time to fashion jewelry out of curly fries.
I don't know why I expect my kids to have friends they want to eat lunch with, but I'm always surprised to walk into the cafeteria and see them sitting at the lunch table, possibly next to other kids, but basically acting like an island.. Genetics dictate that they may not care for the company of other people all that much. Or it could be that friendships are temperamental things and kids don't know the ins and outs. I don't know.
Because I get hyper-vigilant about whether my kids are doing better or worse than I was at their age (in general I think they are better), I was paying attention to the other kids at the lunch tables. In some cases, there's a cluster of 2-3 boys and a cluster of 2-3 girls in each class that are engaged in conversation and seem to have a connection with each other. The other 12-15 kids just seem to... sit. And eat. They may interact with neighbors about napkin territories or dude-look-at-this-curly-fry-nose-ring, but for the most part, they are also islands.
Is this new? As a kid, I was under the impression that EVERYONE ELSE had good friends and awesome experiences 24x7 and that I was the freak that didn't know how to make friends or let myself enjoy something. And while maybe that was the case in my day (in retrospect, I doubt it), it doesn't appear to be the case nowadays. Perhaps it's not the case because all these darn kids with their videogames (!) *shaking fist at sky* don't know how to talk to real people, or maybe it's always been this way.
I kind of want to go to each of these kids and tell them that those 3-4 kids having a good time at lunch may look like the popular "cool" kids, but if all the nerds, geeks, and other outcasts of the world banded together, the "popular" kids would be outside the norm. Nerd bonding FTW!
I suspect, however, some other parents and the school administration might complain if I started a geek uprising during lunch, so I'll just continue to tell my kids that sometimes being a kid stinks but you come through it and it gets better. Besides, all that introspection gives you time to fashion jewelry out of curly fries.
1 comments:
Nerds unite! Revenge of the Nerds, Elementary School edition. That would be so cool.
I have one social butterfly (her father is concerned that it seems to be mostly BOYS that gravitate towards her) and one super shy guy. He does have one really good friend, and I'm glad.... but if the other kids aren't his social opposite... outgoing, etc., he won't be the offering the hand of friendship!
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