Kitty Crack

I know it's been 2 weeks since I blogged, and school has started and I should write about how good the kids are doing*, but rather than jinx that, I'd like to write about the cats and quilting. Because that is one scintillating topic, right?

For the last few years, the vet report on Zoom and Zapper has come back the same: Zoom needs to gain a little weight and Zapper needs to lose a little.  Apparently my idea that if you average them together, they are just right doesn't hold a lot of sway with the vet. The problem we have, however, is that Zapper earned the nickname "Porkins" for a reason - girlfriend can eat. Loves to eat. Lives to eat. Is All About The Eating. Zoom, on the other hand, gets by on a minimum of dry food due to a hunger protest from the discontinuation of Tender Vittles back in the late 90's or so.

Zoom likes exactly the following things: Science Diet dry food, butter, bacon grease, and a mayonnaise. Apparently 3 of those things are appropriate for cats. So getting her to gain weight is a bit difficult. She doesn't care for wet food of any kind (we've tried at least 10 different brands), doesn't care for gravy (either the cat-specific varieties or homemade stuff), doesn't care for treats (at least the ones Zapper likes, and Zapper likes them all), and generally walks around looking pitiful as Zapper chows down.

And then, on a whim, I looked in the treat aisle in the pet store and found some soft chew treats ("Whisker Lickins' Tender Moments", whose invisible tagline would read "... coordinates with the 80's soft focus portrait of your cat"). I figured what the heck, might be worth trying these.

I'm going to write the company and suggest they re-brand these as Kitty Crack, because Zoom loves them. Absolutely lost her mind. I suppose, being that in her mind she hasn't eaten since the late nineties, she better party like it's 1999.  So I'm hopeful that she'll pick up a couple ounces.

Any of my cat peeps out there have advice on serving sizes for this, though? I know treats are not a substitute for "real" food, and she is still eating her dry food, but since she needs to gain a bit of weight, is my limit of 10 treats for her okay? Is it okay to give her more? Aside from kidney function and whatnot, my other concern is that she scarfs these down so quickly that she's likely to hork them back up shortly thereafter.

*Mooning incident aside for Boxer. Seriously. 1st grade and the kid is acting like he's in a frat house. Next thing you know he'll be mixing drinks in the bathroom Dixie cups and turning the bathroom into a massive hot tub using only duct tape and dorm room doors.**

**Not that I would know anything about that Mom & Dad!